Answering the phone

When I started this blog about Jake I thought that it would be a good exercise to record the days that we have with Jake so that I could try and give some idea of what it can be like to have an autistic child. That sounds terrible. It sounds like I could be writing about a badly behaved pet and I'm in actual fact writing about our dearly loved son with out whom we'd be lost. I mean that.

Despite the worries and the stress that can be associated with our situation I often think about what it must be like from Jake's perspective. Does he feel frustrated by not being able to communicate with us very clearly? There's no doubt that when he goes into what we call his "melt-downs" it's because he is very unhappy about something and NOT because he is being naughty. Something is clearly wrong in those situations and it can be so difficult to understand what it is that is actually wrong. Does he have a headache? Does he feel sick with a tummy upset? Is he constipated? Has he a sore throat? Does he just feel unhappy and doesn't know how to fix it? Does he want a particular food and cannot explain that to us? From his perspective it must be so very hard.

We're very blessed to have such a beautiful boy in Jake along with his sister and my other children. I don't want it to appear that I am in any way complaining about the situation here. However hard it sometimes feels for us it can't be as hard as it is for Jake.

One of the things I've noticed about our life now is our increasing reluctance to always answer the phone. We now choose more carefully depending on how things are in the house. Yesterday I was finishing up in the shower while N. was feeding Jake with a bowl of cereal. Getting Jake to eat cereal with milk included is a rare feat indeed and when N. was half way through the process the telephone rang. I wasn't able to get to it and no way was N. about to interrupt feeding Jake as the slightest interval would have probably made Jake lose interest.

Unfortunately timing has to be perfect in our household these days to not only answer the phone but feel confident that we'll be focused enough to hold down a meaningful conversation.